by T-J | Business Support, Doing business differently, Goal setting, Learning & Reviewing, Personal Development
This is the time of year many people look back and review the year and/or decade and also look ahead to a clearer vision for 2020. Have you created space for yourself to reflect on 2019 and the last few years? Have you scheduled some time to look ahead, by yourself, with your family and for your business?
Looking back and learning
It’s great to reflect on the past. We can learn lots of lessons from our own experiences, as well as those from history.
It’s very easy to think “that didn’t work”, and ditch the learning as to WHY it didn’t work. In fact, some of my biggest lessons have been from the things which didn’t work. You’ll find that repeated in the life stories of many successful business owner, sportsmen and women and celebrities.
It can also be freeing to look back knowing that the past is past. At one time I was stuck in a loop of my past failures. It was like I was stuck in the same spot not able to move forward and it felt like I was being tormented by decisions I’d made, or situations which had affected my life. The record in my head was stuck on the same words, going round and round. I couldn’t break free. It took a lot of tears, heartache and it felt like hard work to realise that I had a choice to move forward and away from the sticky mud which was holding me back.
Looking back doesn’t have to be a long process. It may feel scary, but you may have missed some great lessons that could be useful as you move into the new year and new decade.
Being scared v being scary
My 11 year old niece was diagnosed with, had removed, and needs no further treatment for a brain tumour in the space of three weeks this month. Yes, it was a scary time. It’s always the not knowing what’s going on that feels scary. Yet, I wasn’t scared. And for most of the time, she wasn’t either. She was incredibly calm and continued to be her bubbly self, entertaining others, talking to others and spreading joy in the children’s ward to children more poorly than her. My niece chose to accept this “thing in my brain that shouldn’t be there”, and carried on being herself. It was scary but she wasn’t scared.
I truly believe that her attitude of allowing things to be what they are and focus on staying positive and listening to her body has helped her recover well ahead of the average time for a situation like this. I’ve learnt lots from this experience. Different members of the family responded differently. There was nothing we as individuals could do apart from love and support my niece, and each other, and support the doctors and nurses who had the expertise to remove the tumour and help her back on her feet.
Looking back, I’m sure we’ll all see more things we can learn from this experience. I only hope that my niece and all the family remember that it’s OK to go through scary things in life. We have a choice whether to be scared by them, or put our trust in our own body and those experts who are supporting us.
Clear vision 2020 workshop series
None of us can know what lies ahead. But we can take control of our lives and put plans in place to make our dreams come true. Are you clear what your dreams are? What if all your dreams did come true? How would you feel?
“Peace of mind”, “Empowered to succeed”, “Experiencing love and connection”, “Feeling joy”, “Smashing my targets”, “I can see things clearly”, “Connected to my family again”, “Money flowing in like never before” are all words clients have used this year as we’ve worked together on one aspect of their life or business growth.
To help you learn from past experiences and move forwards into the new decade I’m working with Deborah Marie Isis, who I’ve known for about 4 years now. Deborah is a highly skilled coach. We’ve helped each other to grow ourselves and businesses, and suddenly had a light bulb moment a couple of months ago – why not work together to help others?
We’re putting our joint experience and expertise together to help you to do business differently as you move forward to create more personal and business success.
You can use the workshop series to either focus on your personal vision, or your vision for your business. Choose one for now. You can then use the replay to re-do the session for any other aspects of your life where you need a clear vision for success. Simply sign up for the fr£e workshops and get support through our online group. It’s truly amazing when you spend time looking at things differently – you see different things! 😉
As we all move into 2020, maybe with joy, often with trepidation about what lies ahead, I encourage you to spend time reflecting on what you’ve learnt this year. Take time out of the busy-ness to do things you love doing. For me, that’s reading and walking which isn’t easy when others around me just want to sit or there’s food preparation to do. Deborah and I are looking forward to help you reflect more deeply, and look forward with love to your future. I hope you can use our expertise to help you move from any stuckness you feel.
I wish you and your family health and happiness this festive season and a wealth of joy for the year ahead.
Have you created a clear vision 202o? Care to share how you’ve done this?
by T-J | business, Goal setting, Parenting, Personal Development
We all have to do things we don’t like doing. From classes at school we have to do, to cooking or cleaning, or driving. There’s lots of things in all our lives we don’t like.
Some of the things we don’t like are a “have to do”, and some are on our “ought to do” list. Some might even be on our “like to do” list, such as bungee jumping, or skiing, on a bucket list, or similar wish list we may have.
It’s how we deal with these things we don’t like doing that gets us moving forward though, isn’t it?
Doing things we don’t like – case study
My eldest son loves athletics, and is quite good at it too. As he’s a good all rounder, he competes as a Combined Events athlete, just like Jess Ennis-Hill, and Daley Thompson, who are names you may have heard of.
Last year, in the two different competition levels, England Athletics, and English Schools Athletics, he had to do all ten events which make up the Decathlon. This year, he’s in a new age group, and does all 10 in one national event, and 8 in the other.
He didn’t enjoy pole vault from the start, but he had to do it, to start getting practice in. He learnt some of the basic skills, and as he has to train for 10 events, he only trained every other week for pole vault. He did his event in the summer, actually coming 2nd overall, which was an amazing achievement. He then decided, “no more pole vault”.
Well, it is only 1 in 10 events. However, when you’re competing in combined events athletics, you get points for every event. Yes, you’re running against other competitors, but you’re trying to do your best in every event for the points it will give you. The person with the highest points overall at the end of the day, (or two days), is declared the winner. So, in theory, you could do 9 out of 10 events and score zero for one of them. That’s not great though, and not something his coach was going to entertain.
As a 14 year old, we left him to it really. His coach was brilliant, and didn’t linger on the negative stuff, just focusing training on all other 9 events. He didn’t need pole vault for another 6 months, so why sweat over something you don’t need to do?
During that time, she found him a different coach, with a totally different style, and no1 enjoyed his time with him straight away. After his second place last summer, he started to really believe he could go to the Olympics one day. But, to be a decathlete at the Olympics, he has to do pole vault. 9 out of 10 just isn’t good enough.
So, whilst we’re only half way through the winter training period, today was a “eureka” moment for him. His coach clapped and cheered as he put into practice all the tips he’d been teaching him. No1 came away from his training session, saying, “I’ve cracked it!”. He truly believes he has, and I believe he’s now got the confidence to compete well in all 10 out of 10 events this year.
I’m always proud of my children, but they teach me so much. He really, really didn’t like pole vault, and at one stage was even thinking about giving up athletics! He’s taken a breather; he’s had good support around him, not pushing, encouraging and congratulating the positives. With gentle encouragement, and a change of scenery, (coach), he’s made great strides forward.
I believe it’s because he has his eyes set on the end goal. He doesn’t want to be 9/10 good enough, he wants to do his best in everything, even the things he doesn’t like doing. That way, he knows he’ll have given it his best shot at achieving his dream.
Small things make a difference in all our lives. Whether it’s opening your post the day you get it, or ironing your clothes the week they’re washed, these small things could make a massive difference in our lives.
What is your 1/10 thing you don’t like that’s holding you back?
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by Tracey-Jane | Goal setting
I feel like I’m the only person around here who has not set any goals yet for 2017. Am I correct? Or is everyone else how hasn’t set any goals for 2017 keeping quiet too?
Health and fitness goals
I’ve got my general health and fitness ideals I’ve stuck to since January 1st. However, I’ve not set any specific goals like I did last year. I don’t feel like I need goals as such to work towards. I have my big “why I want to stay fit and healthy“, and live a long and healthy life. Is that enough to see me through this year?
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” Jim Rohn
Business goals
I have a few different businesses, and business interests. Is it surprising I haven’t set any specific goals in this area either? Again, I have my long term vision for each business, and my daily tasks are all part of the long view.
“Goals are like magnets. They’ll attract the things that make them come true.” Tony Robbins
Personal goals
I’ve already started doing different things this year, like our family outing to the Ice Hockey. I don’t have a list of things though I’d like to do this year. It’s more a sense of working differently, so I have clearer times for work, and when I’m not working, I’m either with the family, or doing the things I want to do. No specific goals, just a desire to do things differently. Am I missing something?
“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” C.S.Lewis
What are goals anyway?
OK, so now I’m putting things down in writing, I think I do have goals, but they’re long term, or life, goals. Over the past few months I’ve got much better at being clearer about what I want from life, and how I’m going to achieve it. Maybe this is something I should explore with my coach when I meet her next week.
“You must do the thing which you think that you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Am I being too dreamy? Too distant from reality? Not being specific enough? Or am I just being lazy?
I’ve found a post which supports me in not setting goals, (just now) by
Mindset Metaphors. So, I’m not alone in my feeling that setting goals isn’t quite right just yet. Some of my colleagues will say it’s because there’s been a “
Mercury Retrograde“, (yes, planetary stuff!), that we haven’t been able to set our goals, or think about decision making.
Whatever the reasons, I’m sharing this, that I’m really comfortable with not having set any goals yet for 2017. I don’t want you thinking that it’s a ‘must do’ or else the year is a write off already. In the words of Chris Gardner, “Start where you are”. Be yourself, and allow yourself the space to be with your thoughts and dreams. The specific goals will come when they’re fully formed.
Anyone else not got any goals set yet?
by Tracey-Jane | Goal setting
So, here it is – New Year’s Day 2017. I welcomed the New Year in with my family & some friends at a house party. Lovely food, company, laughter, music, a bit of dancing, and lots of hugging. It was perfect.
We said goodbye to the old year, which we all agreed could take a running jump. So now we’re starting as we mean to go on. More food, laughter and friendship. Sharing, supporting and doing the washing up and clearing up together, (even my 15 year old was on his hands and knees picking up all the party popper rubbish!).
Start as you mean to go on
So now New Year has already started, and we’re probably half way through day one, I’m starting as I mean to go on. I’ve been tidying up my website, and am committed to blogging everyday this month. It may not all be here, but it will be blogging with purpose, and creating new habits for the year ahead.
Whilst I don’t usually set New Year resolutions, there’s some things I want to commit to here, in public:
- Stick to my principles and not be swayed by others who may not know they’re trying to knock me off course.
- Carry out my work and tasks with purpose. To complete my work with love and kindness to my family, friends, colleagues, clients and potential clients.
- Stay fit and healthy, and encourage others to stay fit and healthy in the best way for them to stick with new habits.
- Remember to listen to myself, and to others, really well. Respond to anything I hear appropriately and with respect to myself and those I listen to.
- Help others to set up and run their own businesses, sharing my skills and knowledge, and taking on tasks to support them in any way they need. Help others Manage Those Things they can’t, won’t, or don’t want to do.
- Support my family, friends and colleagues to achieve their goals, and believe in themselves and focus on their dreams.
- Have fun, and love life, enjoying everything I do, every day.
What are you starting today? Do you need help keeping on track? Commit here & let’s crack any bad habits you’re ready to leave in 2016.
by Tracey-Jane | Blogging, business, Countdown to Christmas, Family life, General, Goal setting
Some of you will know how I’ve struggled these last few years. For all sorts of reasons. Family, business, bereavement, financial are the main headings I’d use for those reasons.
Last year was a turning point, when I really sat down and worked out what was important to me, and my family. I sold the online shops I’d set up 10 years ago. As a family it also marked a year in our new house.
It’s taken a long time to work things through. Sometimes, as much as we try, priorities have to be focused on, and best intentions get left behind. Just like my blogging.
Despite loving writing, and having found it cathartic over my blogging life, the last couple of years have been tough. I’ve wanted to write, to share, and sometimes get support about issues I’ve been dealing with. However, some of the issues have been too sensitive. My eldest son has struggled, and been teased, about being the focus of my online writing. It’s never been my intention to embarrass him.
Even since signing up to the 30 day blogging challenge with Sarah Arrow, in October, I’ve had all the best intentions. I thought that was just what I needed. It wasn’t. I just wasn’t ready for that level of writing commitment.
I’ve had lots to work through. I’ve got my goals. I’m not without vision, skill, or talent, and I’m brimming with ideas. But I also know, and have learnt over the past 6 years, that some things just have to be put to one side. You have to be ready to move on.
I’m not saying I’ve got everything in place to blog regularly again, but I’ve certainly taken some big steps since December. We had a lovely family Christmas. We spent time with family and friends and did what we wanted. I took a whole 2 weeks off work, which was fantastic! I’ve maintained my running goals this January, and am feeling the health benefits of this new clearer schedule and plan.
I’ve refound my confidence by doing the little things in life – baking, seeing friends, spending time with my children. Now that I’m settled in those little things, my attention is now returning to my work, and business.
Any one else out there working things out, step by step?
by Tracey-Jane | Blogging, Goal setting
It’s been a while since I’ve been around. A lot has happened over the past year. I’ll share some of it, the rest is very personal and may well be shared through my learning experiences and comments. I’m not sure I’m wiser. I’ve just got 10 months more life experience!
Getting back on your bike
Getting back in the saddle isn’t easy though is it? We get out of habits, we lose focus, and we can’t always see how we can do what we used to. So, with all my good intentions since the new school year, it’s only now, that I feel ready and able to get back on my bike and start the next part of my journey.
A lot of change has happened this year, which has been very tiring. I’ve also had flu which knocked me out for a few months. We all have reasons for not doing what we’d planned at the start of the year. Some of us make excuses out of the slightest knock or bump that crosses our path. I’m not saying I haven’t made some little excuses, I’m just holding my hand up and saying it’s been tough. Really tough.
A brief update of 2013:
- We’ve moved house.
- I think I’ve finally grieved for a person I care about
- My eldest son has started secondary school
- I’ve accepted I can’t affect lots of things in my life and business
- I’ve learnt not to take on too much contract work whilst running and developing a small business
So, this week, I’m back in the saddle. Picking up the route map where I left off, and adjusting it for external factors before moving off again. I’m going to concentrate my efforts on the things in life and business I can affect. It’s going to take time in this new planning phase, but it’s always well worth spending time at this phase of a project isn’t it?
It’s good to be back. I’ve missed not sharing with you, but sometimes even the cathartic nature of writing has been too much for my emotions to cope with.
Anyone else getting back in the saddle with a project, interest or idea? Any advice you can give me to smooth my pathway?
