Do you think you are procrastinating for a reason?
It’s been fascinating working through daily journalling prompts from Dale Darley on the 101 days of Being Me journey since the start of the year. Her prompts have made me think deeply about aspects of my life and work. Some days I’ve been inspired to do new things. Other days I’ve reflected on the past. The whole process has shown me just how important it is to be me.
These reflections and writing daily, (I’ve added in an extra daily session to focus on me, as I wanted to maintain my usual morning reflections which I’ve enjoyed for over a year now), have helped me re-look at aspects of my life and work which may not be totally me, and don’t fit naturally into my vision for the future. Things which others may be ‘expecting’ me to do, without any agreement on my part.
Some of those things, like shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing are part of a parent’s role. However, I don’t remember signing up to all these extra duties when I first became a parent!
How many of the roles you take on are assumed roles?
We all have multiple roles in our lives. Some we assume ourselves, and others which may be something we agree to, but simply happen. Take being a daughter or son – that’s a role we have by nature of being a human being. Each one of us will have a different sense of what that role means, and how we play it.
Then there’s those roles which you may have as part of your work environment – a teacher, mentor, introducer, networker, library of knowledge. Others will assume you’re happy to do things by virtue that you’ve always done them, or you’re in “that role”.
In your friendship group or community you may be seen as “the organiser”, or “the communicator”. Roles which others assume you’re OK with. Are you?
Looking at myself these past 101 days, I’ve realised that some of the assumed roles I’m seen as aren’t naturally me. I’ve taken them on or grown into them because it’s needed and no-one else will do it; or, I’m being helpful; or I can’t say no to people who ask me to help them. Some of them aren’t me though and it feels out of sync with who I am to continue.
Have you got roles which aren’t totally right for you?
Are you procrastinating for a reason?
One of the things I’ve noticed is that when I’m doing things which aren’t part of my natural instincts I’ll procrastinate. I’ll put things off, not do them, or make excuses.
I’ve always known that when you find things challenging that’s when you procrastinate more. What I hadn’t realised until this recent personal development work, was how much I do isn’t naturally me. When I’m using my skills and talents to help others I can whip through a list of tasks which surprises me. My productivity is like lightning!
When I’m sorting out the car insurance renewal, for example, or thinking about things which are part of a role someone else has assigned to me, it can take me ages to get things sorted out.
Are you the same?
Knowing yourself better helps reduce procrastination
Out of all my learning about listening, listening to myself has been one of the most important lessons. Just like the 101 days of being me has helped me learn more about myself and what makes me me, I’ve allowed myself to listen and respond to what I’ve learnt.
About 18 months ago I discovered the Five Institute’s Vitality Test, and have been learning more about myself from the team ever since. It’s fascinating and has helped me understand that to be me, I need to embrace my differences, not hide them.
We’re all unique individuals. We all have talents and skills different from the rest of our family, friends and community. But we are often not encouraged to be different.
As teenagers we want to fit in and be accepted.
We want to fit in and get a job, a house, a car. Be part of a team and community.
And to do this we often hide parts of ourselves.
One of the books I’ve re-read during the last month is Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection. It was perfect for my learning more about myself. The other one I’ve loved is Michelle Obama’s Becoming. Both these books tell the story of realising you are you. You are perfect as you are. You don’t need to hide any part of you.
Be yourself, it’s much easier
My Body Brain Balance mentor Laura Donnelly, says, “Ease anywhere, is ease everywhere”. If you’re being yourself there’s no need to hid anything is there? You can simply be you. By being you, you’re doing the things you love and there’s no need to procrastinate about anything.
Sounds simple, right?
Well, I’ve certainly learnt lots these past few years, culminating in the journalling journey of the past 101 days. All these books, ideas, and even writing my own book called Passion is not enough, have taught me that I simply need to be me. When I’m me, I do my best work. I help more people. My love for my work and supporting others shines through.
Get over Procrastination Workshop
Even though I’ve learnt lots, I love learning and am looking forward to learning from Nick Haines from Five Institute about Procrastination in this 60 minute expert online workshop for the Business Cheerleading Club.
Nick will help us to understand ourselves a bit better so we can catch ourselves, or change the way we do things so we’re more ourself and don’t need to procrastinate.
Do you think you are procrastinating for a reason?