Are you working on the right things

“No one but you sees your dreams. No one can sue you for libel for writing them down. No one can fact-check you or object to a fanciful turn of events” Graeme Greene

no one can tell you your dreams aren't rightI had an interesting week last week. How was yours? I felt I was walking through treacle, and everything was so slow. It was frustrating in one way, but I allowed myself to take one, slow, step at a time. I was following a plan to get some things done.

Then at the end of the week, as I was putting the final touches to a piece of work, I was reminded that what I was trying to do wasn’t what I really wanted to do. It had the wrong slant. It wasn’t for my customer. I needed to change what I’d planned to fit with my long term vision of supporting business owners to listen to themselves and serve your customers better.

Mmm. Another lesson! At the start of January when I wrote my plans out, I felt that what I wanted to create was a good fit for me. Looking back, I’ve no idea why I felt that was right. It doesn’t matter now. I’ve shelved that piece of work, and will be starting the “real” one that fits into my business for my clients, and the one thing that people have been asking for. NOT creating something which I think they want or need.

The other lesson I learnt last week, was that life is all about tweaking, and ensuring our structure is right. I learnt this from a visit to a chiropractor with my son. He’s been unwell and having a few injury problems for a few months, which is totally unlike him. I decided that we needed to do something different, as what we’ve been trying hasn’t been working.

The chiropractor started identifying if he was having the right nutrition to fuel his body. He was deficient in one area, which is impossible to fuel from daily food intake. Luckily for our household food bill, it’s an easy one to fix with a high dose of vitamin C every day.

Then he started tweaking his structure. He’d identified by looking at him that he was off balance in his body. The lower back pain was being caused by his neck being out of alignment, (this is very common, and I’ve had this adjustment done in the past too). So he tweaked his neck back into place and his posture immediately altered. Even his smile returned after a few more adjustments and a conversation which went along the lines of “getting your structure in the right place for you, will make you strong. From this you can train and get your technique better, and you’ll be in the best physical condition to develop your ambition”. No wonder his smile returned!

I’m sharing this story with you, not to help you with any physical adjustments you may need to make yourself, so you’re strong in yourself. Simply as a reminder that your core values and core structure are important to growing your business. Go a little bit off and it won’t feel right. You’ll feel wonky, or like you’re walking through treacle just like I was last week. Once I’d realised, I felt much better. I was no longer trying to do something that was part of someone else’s “formula” for success. I’m back on track understanding my own clients and my own business, and doing what’s right for me.

Are you following your dreams or someone elses?

Whilst I love hearing about your dreams and ambitions, they are just that – your dreams. For you to plan to bring to life when the time is right for you. No-one is going to tell you that you’ve done it wrong as your dream is different from their dream. Being clear what your dreams are will help you achieve them. Keep them in mind as you plan what you want to achieve this week.

In the 13 week planner for busy people, there’s a page for your monthly focus which has at the centre of the page a place for you to write your focus. However you do your planning, keep your dream and your focus at the heart of what you do. If something’s not working at the moment you may just need a slight tweak to your structure, or how you do something to make it work better for you.

It’s worth taking the time to adjust. Once you’ve re-adjusted yourself, you’ll find that you’re back on an easier smoother path to achieve what you want.

If you need help working out what your deepest dreams are that you want to pursue, book a Find your Why session. You’ll get a long way in our 3 hours together to understanding what’s at the heart of you.

Let me know what your dreams are, or if you’ve had similar situations where you’ve realised you’re not on the right track. What have you done? Leave a comment below.

When things are better than expected

We all have them. Days, or things, that you’re not really looking forward to, and then they turn out to be better than expected. Why is that? What do we dread so much about certain things that then make our perceived ‘bad’ thing turn into ‘good’?

dandelion sunriseWhen things are better than expected

I’ve no idea why we sometimes think that something we have to do is going to be awful. We build it up in our head, or prepare for the worst, don’t we? We often just think that it’s going to be awful. So when we have a lovely time, or the thing goes better than expected, then we’re even more delighted with ourselves, or ‘it’ than we expected.

Bizarre? Or human nature?

If we think something is going to be awful, then more often than not, it will be. We believe, so it will happen. But we can also believe it will be alright, and still think it may be hard going, or not enjoyable, but it can be worse. Why is that?

I believe it’s down to our preparation, of ourselves, and the situation/job/our team. If we prepare ourselves for all eventualities, then everything is covered, isn’t it? We know we have contingencies in place for x, y or z happening. So even if it does happen, we’re in control and work through it.

Our plans for the event, if we think it may not be enjoyable, are often more thorough than if we think we’ll breeze through something. Surely this must teach us something?

Yes, planning is key to success. Even the things we’re not looking forward to, or not as skilled at. If we plan in advance, then we’ll make everything we touch a success. For ourselves and our teams.

You know that saying? “Fail to plan; Plan to fail”.

It’s very true, and we can make sure we don’t fail in anything. Even the things we’re not looking forward to.

Today, I’ve proved that to myself and my family. And I’m very proud of all of us 🙂

When have you experienced something that was better than expected?

Waiting is the most difficult thing

Waiting is the most difficult thing

Sometimes we have to wait for things to happen before we can move on in our lives. Usually it’s just one thing we’re waiting for, and we have to be patient.

At the moment I’m waiting for quite a few things to fall into place & I’m finding it hard to motivate myself. I know, not like me is it? I’m always so positive and supportive of others. Well, lacking motivation happens to all of us. That’s life and we have to deal with it!

We’re waiting to move house: We’ve accepted an offer on our house, but the wheels are just starting to turn. It’s been 10 years since we moved house, and that means we’ve got 10 years of rubbish to clear out!

I’m waiting for a legal dispute to be settled: It started over 2 years ago now, and I’m now fed up of waiting and chasing. I know legal cases take time, but when you’re a small business, it has a massive impact on your work doesn’t it?

I’m wanting to sell one of my businesses: I’m ready to move on to focus on the bra fitting side of the Bra Lady business. I’ve put bras4mums up for sale. A ready made business for someone looking for a niche online shop. Despite lots of interest, it’s still up for sale.

I’m ready to put the past behind: My Mum died over 3 years ago, and my Dad changed into someone I don’t recognise about 3 years ago. I’ve struggled with losing the living person I love so much, as well as my poorly Mum. I’m ready to move on, but am finding it hard to let my Dad go.

One of these is challenging I know, but all at the same time? I’m not moaning, I’m just telling you how it is for anyone of us sometimes. Those of us busy Mums with businesses have a lot to deal with. We can only take so much can’t we?

My plan? A holiday with my family to enable me to take a step back and get things back in perspective. I’m lucky to have such wonderful family and friends who’ve supported me over the last 4 very difficult years. I know that all I need to do is get back to basics and focus on the goals I’ve set.

Yes waiting is difficult and we have to be patient. But we can also make the waiting easier by being easier on ourselves, not beating ourselves up when things take a bit longer than we think they should, and revising our plans.

Any other advice you’d give to those who’re being impatient?

I’ve missed a month!

I thought I was doing so well. Staying focused, getting things done off my lists. Making sure the boys have done their homework and done their activities, (May’s been a busy month!). But I’ve missed things.

My niece Alice

I’ve missed my niece’s 3rd birthday.

I still haven’t planted seeds for my vegetable patch.

I haven’t caught up with friends who need support and encouragement.

I haven’t revised the website that I’d planned for April….and other such things.

And now I realise I’ve missed a month! A whole month.

My employee told me she’d got another job on 20th April, and all I’ve done since then is keep things going. I’ve done nothing new. I haven’t created. I haven’t even cooked that much, using meals from the freezer for quickness and ease. I know I’ve been positive about Change, but you still have to move forward don’t you?

Yes I’ve come through the last month achieving the basics. Supporting customers at bras4all, ensuring the bralady team have what they need to grow their businesses; and attending a Baby Show at NEC with bras4mums. I’ve kept things going. I’ve missed a month, and missed important events.

But now it’s time to regroup, review what’s needed to move forward, in business and at home, so that I don’t have to miss a month again.

Any advice?