Leslie Anne is back talking about her mission to be super organised in 2012.
I’m on a constant mission to be one of those super organised people – every year I get a little closer! Last year, I discovered three essential organisational tools that I couldn’t live without now. Maybe they’ll help you too?
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What do you start the New Year with? For me buying a new diary is almost cleansing…as a bit of a stationery freak I love the choice and believe me it does take a while to choose the right one, with the right amount of space and also one that I will take pride in so that it isn’t left to the side of the desk unloved.
Guest blogger Rachel discusses starting up a new business while being a stay at home mum.
Well where to start. I have always wanted to do a blog, but I am not the most organised person in the world and so the thought of having to keep up with a blog on a regular basis seemed impossible, so this opportunity to join a shared blog seemed ideal, and I thought how ‘hard can it be’.
I have been a stay at home Mum for almost 7 years. Prior to that I was a ‘career’ woman, always seeking out the best opportunities, taking on new challenges. I have worked in Sales, Recruitment, Customer Service & Admin at varying levels. Towards the end of my ‘working’ life I had a bad experience at a place of work, that led me to turn my back on the whole ‘career’ thing and I found more importance in ‘me’ time. I took on a part time job, reducing my Salary but relishing in the extra time I had at home.
When I found out I was pregnant with my eldest I was overjoyed, and although I loved my job I couldn’t wait to go on maternity leave. I had assumed I would return to work once he turned 1, and I did try it for a couple of months, but I missed him too much, so we decided I would be a Stay at home mum, and that’s how it was for the next 6.5years, during which time I had two more children.
A few years ago I began to feel trapped and yearned for some ‘me’ time, I also felt that my brain was seriously lacking intellectual stimulation lol – not functioning as well as it used to – I used to proof read medical documents, but now my spelling was shocking and grammar confusing. So about 2 years ago, I started to look around, and give some thought as to what I could do, and I kept coming back to ‘working from home’ would be the best option for me. My hubby works long hours and often has to travel, so I would be an unreliable employee, having to take time off at short notice, plus we were trying for baby no.3.
I looked into becoming a Virtual PA, even got as far as contacting Business link and doing lots of research, but I gradually realised that the start up cost was beyond my reach, as well as the lack of space – I would need a decent office space to make it work, which I really don’t have. So the idea drifted away to the back of mind, along with all the other things I had considered. We discovered we were pregnant which gave me something else to think about lol. My darling daughter arrived 16months ago and so the rollercoaster of life began once more, although with many more loops and screams .
In the busyness of life as a SAHM I didn’t really give any more thought to working. I told myself I would look into it again in a few years. Although every now and again I would find myself dreaming about starting my own business, giving me freedom to choose my own hours, work around the kids etc – like I say, I was dreaming. So when I went to a Christmas fair in 2010 and asked if I would be open to taking a look at a business opportunity working from home, I was sceptical. I did however love the products having just experienced them during the hand massage I received on my very dry & sore hands. So I agreed to receive a phone call in a few days for more information. I watched a video, read the information, talked it over with my husband and in the end thought ‘why not’. Hundreds of women make a success of starting a new business, so why can’t I. So I filled in the application form and bought my starter box which was pleasantly surprising. A very small start up cost – just £199, but for that I would received lots of fabulous natural products worth far more than my investment, order forms, brochures, receipt pads, literature and much more. I also have the support of my amazing ‘sponsor’, and although I am an independent distributor the company provide so much opportunity for training, courses and material, online support and so much more.
I was most nervous about the official side of things such as registering as self employed, having to do my own Tax returns etc. But again it was so much easier than I imagined. Registering my business was done by a simple phone call, and my tax return does not have to be completed until October. Which I have to say is a good job – as my terrible organisational skills mean I am very behind with my paperwork. The hardest thing I suppose has been accepting I own my business. I have been so used to being told what to do, having to run all my decisions by others, being accountable to ‘the boss’ and carefully planning my holidays, that it took a while to change my mindset and I am still learning. I have also struggled with juggling time for ‘the business’ and time for ‘the kids’, but I never expected to be super at running a business, I accept that it is a learning curve and sacrifices have to be made in the first 6-12months, whilst I set things up BUT I know it is worth it. I can choose my own hours so if the kids are ill, or have appointments, I don’t need any ones permission to take time off, I just juggle my schedule, when I go on holiday the business ticks over and doesn’t fall apart, my boys are starting to see me in a different light too, showing an interest in what I do, and realising that it isn’t just ‘daddies’ that do work.
The other great thing about my business is my social life has improved, I have met so many wonderful people, and have helped lots of people too in many ways, whether it be offering them a product that has helped with a health issue, or offering them an opportunity to join my team, and start a business for themselves. When I was first invited to join the business, the clear message was that this business helps people improve their health and increase their wealth – and I wholeheartedly back that up, I only wish I had been introduced to this opportunity years ago.
In summary, running a business from home is hard, challenging and completely different to managing the household (something I fail at miserably lol) BUT it can also be satisfying, rewarding and fun!!! If you have considered running a business from home, go for it. You nothing to lose and everything to gain. I have given myself 2years to make a success of this business, if I don’t succeed, so be it, I will have had a good 2years of fun and experience. But if I do succeed I will have paved the way for a fantastic financial future for me and my family. If you have also considered looking at finding a business opportunity that allows you to work from home, please do take a look. It may not be for you, BUT it could be just what you are looking for.
www.rachel.myforever.biz/emagazine
www.rachel.myforever.biz/career
I had my daughter two and half years ago and it is only now that I think for the first year and a half I showed elements of having post natal depression.
I specifically remember my health visitor expressing concerns about the way I was feeling, she did a questionnaire that I know most mums will have experienced and my results came out as borderline post natal depressed and she sat me down and had a really good chat with me about how I felt about being a new mum and how my husband and I were coping together being parents. I am extremely lucky as my husband is a phenomenal dad and very hands on taking my daughter out so that I at least get a few hours to myself to soak in a bath or do the things I just cannot do with my daughter around.
For the first year of daughter’s life I remember everything seemed to get on top of me and i could fly off the handle quite easily and I could be reduced to tears at the drop of a hat. I always felt as if everything i did for her was wrong and questioned everything I did for her, but to those around me I have since been told just thought I was being a neurotic first time mum. It did not help that my daughter at six months of age started to suffer with chronic eczema that would keep her awake most of the night crying and itching so both my husband and I were incredibly sleep deprived.
But for a year and a half I just could not shake the feeling that I was useless, I felt fat and uncomfortable and would comfort eat, but I had no reason to feel this way as I have the most amazing family and friends network all there supporting me, but i felt a little lost and out on a limb as I was until recently the only one of my friends to have a baby and had to make a whole new network of baby friendly friends. I almost had to reinvent myself and i liked who I was before but having my daughter meant that I could not be exactly who I was before.
I tried to return to my job of 5 years and felt like they had forgotten who I was they did not make my return back to work easy and after one month I decided to resign and take another 6 months to get myself together and get my head straight, my daughter had also been very ill for 4 months and a week after I quit my job she was rushed into hospital for 3 days with a serious chest infection that left her with breathing difficulties. It was at this point that I seemed to walk out of a bit of a fog and started to see things a little more clearly and realised that my friends were not cutting me out they just had their own normal everyday lives to get on with, and that I was doing nothing wrong in raising my child I was just learning on the job! And it is a complete lifestyle change.
I have since rearranged and re prioritised my life. And finally know that I am a good mum and now doing two jobs that allow me to work from home and I thoroughly enjoy them. The friends I made from the baby groups I forced myself to attend when my daughter was 3 months old are still with me and we have an amazing time when we meet up which we do regularly. And now all my old friends are now getting married and having kids, one is now having twins and they are changing their priorities and we are meeting in the middle and life seems so much easier.
So did I have post natal depression possibly?? I will never really know if it was just being a first time mum with it’s high’s and lows or if I really needed to be honest and go see my GP I am through it now and feel so much stronger for the experience and I have an amazing daughter and husband that keep me on my toes and make me smile daily!
I am a busy mum of three children four and under, with two dogs and a business, you could say I’m a little busy but I like life that way. After years of wanting a child and only six months of trying four and a half years ago we caught for Poppy, my beautiful little girl and to be fair everything was as near to perfect as it could be. My partner had left the RAF to come and live with me and I had a successful teaching job, we we were financially secure and our relationship was thriving. Poppy was a very easy baby, sleeping through from six weeks old and an angel during the day. We had talked a lot about having children close together and were toying with the idea of having another child quite soon, then all of a sudden the decision was made for us. I caught for Rowan when Poppy was 4 months old. I had had a difficult pregnancy with Poppy, with sickness for 32 weeks but the birth was a wonderful water pool birth and as I said she was an angel. My pregnancy with Rowan went really smoothly, no sickness and I felt good except for some stress from work. The stress at work got worse and 29 weeks into my pregnancy a child I was teaching ran towards me with pair of scissors threatening to kill my baby. This sort of finished me off. I went to the doctors and got signed off with stress, suddenly my pregnancy had become difficult.
At 29 weeks I was getting strong and quite painful Braxton Hicks, which continue for the next few weeks and I became terrified that Rowan would come early and I would loose him. We were having Poppy Christened in November and Rowan was due in December. The day of the Christening I slipped on a wet floor and my waters broke, at the time I wasn’t certain this has happened and carried on through the christening with horrendous backache all day. After a few days I went for my midwife visit and was measuring three weeks behind the last check, she immediately sent me for tests and my waters had in fact gone. When they scanned me, my waters were so low that Rowan only had a bubble of water around his face. Because I was only 36 weeks at this stage and had not gone into labour the doctors were reluctant to induce me and kept saying my waters could come back. So for two weeks I rushed back and fourth to be monitored every day to check my waters and the baby. It was a nightmare and I missed my daughter. Finally on week 38 I went into labour and Rowan was born, the labour was extremely quick and due to the lack of fluid, extremely painful and stressful. As I held Rowan in my arms I knew I didn’t feel the same as I did when I had Poppy. I thought and hoped this feeling would pass.
Rowan was over a pound bigger than Poppy had been and constantly wanted food whilst Poppy constantly needed attention and where as with Pops I had had everyone around me when she was born, when Rowan arrived, friends and relatives were few and far between. I felt alone. I didn’t want to go out because it was too hard and staying in was driving me insane. I hated my partner for no particular reason and nothing he did was right and it just got worse. The more time went on the more I resented Rowan for the amount of time he spent feeding. I woke up one morning and Dan was getting ready for work and Rowan was screaming as usual, I just wanted to run away, I hated the life I was in and felt so lonely and abandoned. Dan shouted at me to pick up Rowan, I took him downstairs and gave him to Dan, Dan glared at me and asked what was I doing, I can’t even remember what we were arguing about all I remember is raising my hand to hit Dan and running out of the house. I took the car keys and sat in the car and sobbed. I just wanted to go anywhere to get away, I had no shoes on, no money and there was no fuel in the car, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Dan came out to me and just held me. It was the first time we both realised that something was not quite right. Ironically that morning on the news a women with two week old twins had got up and walked onto the M6 and killed herself, when asked her husband said he didn’t realise anything was wrong!
I called my health visitor and she suggested I went to the doctors, my mum came over and I went with the health visitor, both doctor and health visitor were amazing! They prescribed me anti-depressants and told me I needed to get out and I needed to talk. They put me in touch with breastfeeding groups so I could get help. The health visitor came every couple of days and talked things over with me, she encouraged me to tell people what was going on. So I told my closest friends, their resposes were the same, they never realised there was anything wrong but had wondered why they never saw me. I was amazed hat how many friends had had the same feelings and had also had tablets for this illness, it amazed me that no one ever talked about it.
I am now 3 and a half years on and another baby. I would love to tell you the garden is rosy and I don’t suffer from this anymore but I do. The difference now is that ALL my friends know. They all know if I disappear for a week or two i’m not well and they check on me. Dan is very supportive and he puts up with a lot. I take my tablets as regular as clockwork and when I don’t it shows. last year I came off them and threw Dan out. This year I overdosed. There is a fine balance between me being well and unwell and we are are constantly, as a couple, working towards making me better. The biggest thing that I have come to realise is that this is an illness not a condition! I no longer blame myself for it nor do I see it as something which will just go away. If I had a cold I would take paracetamol, so for Post Natal Depression I take my tablets, and it will go eventually it just takes time. The best advice I could possibly give is that nobody should feel stigmatised for having it, everyone should talk about it and if you have it accept help and ask for help. People will understand and you will be surprised how many of your friends, have it, have had it or know someone with it.
Julie has a great photography website www.real-photography.co.uk and blogs at http://justaboutbeingamum.wordpress.com/ or http://realphotographyuk.wordpress.com/.