Stop trying to fix things – let go

Stop trying to fix it. Let goI’m speaking words of wisdom today – “Stop trying to fix things – let go”. It doesn’t mean I always practice what I preach though, and I know this is hard for some of us, so I thought I’d reassure you that it does work, when you “let go”.

There’s been lots of times in my life when as soon as I’ve made the decision to “let go”, everything has fallen into place, I’ve felt physically and mentally better. Many of these times have been about issues that weren’t even of my making – things I couldn’t actually affect, but in my head, if I didn’t “fix” them, I couldn’t do x, y and z. Ahh, I can see you’re nodding. You’ve been there too?

Some of us pray, and/or meditate, and/or journal (write things down to get them out of your head), and/or talk the ear off a friend, to allow things out. I’m an advocate of Listening , and know that by sharing what’s in your head with someone else, will help you find your own solution to what’s holding you back.

Even when we’ve let something out, though, I’ve often found that I want to “make things better” and “fix” things. For example, when something goes a bit haywire, and not as expected, I want to tidyup loose ends, and make sure everyone’s OK. Are you like that too?

Just like the situations where other people or situations are affecting me, and I can’t do anything about it, I also know, (deep down), that I can’t make things better for others. All I can do is love and care for them, and open my ears when they want to talk. I can’t fix things for other people, as much as I want to – they have to do it for themselves, with or without my help.

I’ve had a situation this month which has really got me down, simply because I wanted to make things right for someone else. The fact that they don’t want to accept my help, or my listening ears has been hard for me to accept. I’ve tried different tactics to make things right, but nothing has worked. It was only when a friend helped me realise this, that I was able to finally “let go”. In my own way I’ve sent them love and will always be here for them if they want my help. It’s time to move on, and I’ve finally realised that this is a life lesson I need to practice ALL the time.

I know, I’m a fixer, and want life to be wonderful for everyone. That’s because I know it can be wonderful! But we, as an individual, have to believe that, and make our own decisions. I’m a true believer of “what you put out, you get back”, and I’ve been holding myself together for too long trying to fix something that isn’t mine to fix. I’ve been spending time and energy on something that I can’t actually affect!

Hmm, so you see my dilemma? I’m a carer, a fixer, and want everyone to be happy. My friend told me, “you’re a confident, empathic, talented, skillful, wise, funny, supportive, amazing, loving, caring, dynamic, wealthy feminine force in the world”. Wow. That’s been lovely to hear. But I still wanted to fix somebody else. With all these skills and talents, it’s still not enough.

I can only be me. And you can only be you. If you can learn anything from me today, it’s you can only fix things for you. Let go of things which aren’t quite right, and certainly the things you’re trying to fix in and for other people.

I’m ready to move forward with new exciting challenges and opportunities & share my love and passions with others. Are you?

If you’d like help with letting go of something, (or someone), let’s spend some time together so I can support you to stop fixing things, and let go.

10 Comments

  1. What a beautiful vulnerable share.

  2. Thank you. I felt it was important to share so others can learn from my mistakes 😉

  3. Enjoyed this post Tracey-Jane. I love how empowering letting go can be!

  4. Thank you for this. I confess I’m a fixer, too, especially when I’ve done something with the best intentions and it’s been misunderstood. I keep getting these messages from the Divine telling me to let go – okay, I’ll let go.
    That’s it. I’m done.

    Good post!

  5. It’s so hard to let go sometimes isn’t it? Hard to resist the urge to do things for people, but they need us to, it is the only way they will grow.

    Beautiful post! Thank you

  6. Thank you. It’s one of those things I knew, deep down, but sort of forgot on the surface. So pleased I’ve relearnt it 🙂

  7. I’m pleased I’m not the only one. And I believe we all have the best intentions. Are you still managing to let go? I hope so 🙂 x

  8. Thank you. It’s so very hard, but you’re right. It’s what we need to do to help others grow 🙂 x

  9. I’m a fixer too, especially when I feel I did something wrong. I want approval and validation. I was in a relationship and he broke up with me. I didn’t handle the ending very well, I said did things I’m not happy about and now I’ve been trying to fix it. The problem is, he’s done and doesn’t want to fix it. I was hurt and reacted and can’t forgive myself so i need him to but he won’t. Now it’s time to let go.

  10. Thanks for sharing Sherri. I think it’s natural to want approval. I hope you find some comfort in letting go 🙂

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