Let go of what you cannot change

“One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change”

letting go of things you cannot changeThis week there’s been a focus on love, friendship and relationships, including the relationship with ourselves. It can be bittersweet for some as we remember relationships which are no longer part of our lives; people who are no longer with us. It can also highlight when we’re feeling alone in a situation or our life.

However busy you are, or how big your circle of friends, or networking groups online or offline, you can still feel alone. It can be a very dark place for some that sense of being by themselves. It can also be very reassuring. That you don’t need to rely on others to deal with life, business, challenges. You have everything you need to work things out for yourself. You may need to ask others for help or for particular skills, but you can work it out for yourself.

You cannot change a situation, but you can change your reaction and perception of it. That takes courage! Believe me, it can take a long time to believe enough in yourself to make a decision about something that is very important to you. You can work yourself up into all sorts of states about one thing, (and in my personal experience it’s a small thing that I blow up into something massive), when it really doesn’t deserve that energy or attention.

When you listen to yourself what do you usually hear? Are the mind monkeys shouting loudly that you can’t do something, that it’s all wrong, or doom is just round the corner? Or can you hear that little voice in a whisper, saying “it’s OK! We are where we are, it’s only x, and it’s just one part of my life/business. There’s a way to sort it”. If you allow yourself, I bet the whisper is there 😉

Letting go of things we cannot change

We all love to look back with the benefit of hindsight don’t we? “If only I’d…”, “if this hadn’t happened then…” and so many other phrases we use, and hear others using. But we can’t go back. We can’t change things that have already happened. We can change how we view them, and we can certainly change how we move forward.

It does take courage to let go of what we can’t change, which includes people in our lives. Taking the brave step to listen to yourself, rather than rely on other people’s ideas and solutions, is very liberating. Just like with time – you only have 24 hours a day, you can only do what you can do. You can take action on some things, but have to allow those which others are responsible for to take their course.

You can make plans and contingency plans for situations which may happen. They’re yours to put in place. Whilst we love to put the blame, guilt and shame on someone else, or a situation that’s happened, until we have the courage to say, “I let go of what I cannot change”, we will feel lonely. We’ll feel stuck.

Being stuck in a rut can be very lonely can’t it? You feel that no-one understands you, your situation and certainly no-one can help you. I know, I’ve been there lots of times. Even these last few weeks I’ve felt a bit stuck. There’s been some things which weren’t working for me, yet I wasn’t listening to myself or allowing myself to move from my little rut. In some ways being in a rut is comforting. You know where you are! It took a few conversations with some good friends who reminded me to listen to myself. It was that simple. Hard, but simple.

I’ve no idea why listening to yourself is so hard. Maybe we don’t trust ourselves? Or if we only ever listen to other people we have the fall guy already set up to take the blame when something doesn’t go to plan. It doesn’t matter does it?

So as you start a new week, 8 weeks into the new year, I encourage you to let go of things you can’t change & focus your attention on the things you can. It doesn’t matter that you’re not on track, or haven’t quite done “that thing” you’d wanted to. You can do it now, this week, or sometime in the future.

In life and business, listen to yourself. Trust your instinct and intuition and take the action which you hear whispered in your ear. It may not be easy at first, but once you trust yourself to listen, the whispers get louder and the mind monkeys start to get a bit quieter.

If you feel lonely in your business, remember that you’re not alone. I started the Business Cheerleading Club to support people like you. Please don’t be alone with worries, concerns and your mind monkeys. Let others help you to listen to yourself and move forward in your life and business.

“Building a business can be lonely, isolating and frustrating. Being in a group where you cheer others and receive their support changes everything.” Laura, Dancing with Ease
I’d welcome your thoughts on courage, listening and moving forward. Leave a comment below, or get in touch.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.