Horrible things affect us all

photo outside MEN arena

Paramedics treated dozens of walking wounded, including some with shrapnel injuries . Photo Pete Byrne

On waking this morning to discover the horrible suicide bomb in Manchester, at the Ariane Grande concert, we’re reminded that horrible things affect us all.

It didn’t really hit me until my 15 year old son woke up and he said he had quite a few friends go to the concert last night. That’s when I started really noticing my feelings. Yes, my initial reaction was of horror, but to think my son may be affected by it personally, my stomach fell away from me.

As the morning has gone on, and I’ve seen updates from friends who were at events near by, it’s brought back my memories from the London bombings in 2005, when all I could hear were helicopters and sirens. It’s taken me years to not be affected by the sound of a helicopter overhead. My brother has just written on my facebook page:

I remember vivdly us not being able to get hold of you on 7/7. You were actually in a meeting really early and hadn’t heard anything and obviously let us know as soon as you did. But it was a horrible couple of hours. Big hug to Ben and all his friends and glad to hear ( we hope ) they are all safe. Glad the girls are not that are (yet). Xxx

This morning there are people all over the North West trying to contact friends who may have been, or were at the concert or nearby. Most people will feel relief at hearing their loved ones and colleagues are safe. However, there’s going to be a lot of people who are learning that friends of friends, have been killed or injured in this incident. We need to recognise that their trauma may go on for weeks, or years, and we must help others all we can to learn to trust again.

As I hugged my boys goodbye this morning, I told them that I didn’t want them to be sad at school today. I told them about a girl who was killed on her way to school when I was a few years older than her. I remember that day so vividly too. It was sunny, and the news started to filter through that there had been a terrible accident on the train. Whilst I didn’t know the girl personally, you don’t need to to be upset, or need support. The school were fantastic, and supported those who needed it. It’s amazing what memories we keep hidden isn’t it, until something like this happens.

Whilst terror attacks and wars and murders and accidents are awful, it does show that our communities can work together and support each other in difficult times. Isn’t it time we start working together more? Try to understand our neighbour and create links to help people to talk about their issues. The skill of listening is going to be used so much today and these next few weeks as those who attended the concert talk about what happened to them, so they can start to put things in place in their head so they can move on in their lives.

As we go about our daily lives after a horror like this, we need to remember that horror does affect us all. We may want to protect our children, and even stop them from doing things, but will that help them learn? Life is horrid at times, and stopping doing what we want is surely a win for the terrorists. When the IRA were attacking England in the 1970s and early 80s did we stop our daily lives? Or did we put contingencies in place when we went anywhere? My family always had a plan when we went to London in case of an incident or we were split up. It didn’t stop us from doing what we wanted. We need to prepare our children for horrid things, through love and education, and being part of a caring community who look out for each other.

We will never wipe out all terror and horror in our world (Dark v Light, or whatever analogy you want to use), but we can learn to deal with horror better, and help those who are affected with all the love we possess.

Today, and in the weeks to come, I believe we need to Listen more, Love more, Hug more, and build our communities once more so that we respond to each other positively every day, not just when horror strikes.

My love and prayers go to all those affected by this particular horror in Manchester, and horrors around the world.

Addition – I’ve been shown this helpful free hypnosis download for anyone struggling with fear of terrorism. I’ve not used it personally, but a good friend I trust has used other content for her daughter. Please do let me know if you use it for yourself or your family & how it helps you.

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2 Comments

  1. Tracey-Jane love your post, so moving, so inspiring. I am totally with you, listen more, love more, hug more and build our communities more. Love it, love Carriex

  2. Aww thanks Carrie. Let’s hope this movement of listening, caring and loving communities starts to gain momentum.

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