I used to struggle to make choices. Some things were easy to decide on, others were much harder and I could spend days or weeks asking others their opinion and going round and round in circles in my mind feeling like I was going crazy.
I still sometimes struggle, but that’s only when I’m being triggered by others or circumstances, or hearing things from people I love and am close to that seem logical and “the right thing to do”. But is it “right” for me?
Playing follow the leader
Did you used to play “follow the leader” when you were little? I can’t remember exactly how you played it, but my memory of trying to do a funny walk, or twisting my body to the same shape as the “leader” are very clear.
We all have people we admire and emulate in our life. There may have been teachers, community or spiritual leaders we trusted and respected who we followed. We may have followed the rules set by parents to keep us safe from harm. We may have followed along with a game at school because we wanted to be with the “in crowd”.
We’ve all followed others at some point in our life. Are we still doing it? If I’m honest there are probably things that unconsciously I may still “follow the rules” on, even if I’m unaware of them. In fact there’s some rules now that I follow that help keep me safe, like driving on the left side of the road like all the other cars to so we don’t crash into each other.
There’s been times when I’ve followed guidelines from someone I respect only to find later that their “blueprint” or “ultimate checklist” or “system” didn’t work for me. I followed some of these things religiously, but discovered I got further away from the result I actually wanted.
Strange isn’t it? What can help one person become so successful makes another go round in circles going mad with frustration.
Listen to yourself
When I really stopped to listen to myself I understood that some of these systems and methods weren’t right for me or my business. I think I’d always known deep down that was the case but I hadn’t put faith in my own knowledge or understanding or that I was good enough to grow myself and my business.
There’s only you who truly knows what’s right for you. Your parents, partner, children, best friends, business partner may all think they know you really well. They do. But it’s your life and only you can make the decisions for your life and how you want to live it.
Learning to listen to yourself can be a hard skill to practice to start with. But like any skill as you practice you improve and find it easier. Consistency, like most things in life, is the key to successfully learning to listen to yourself. You may find different ways that work for you to really listen well:
- walking in nature
- being by the sea
- writing or journalling
- talking to someone
I’ve used all of these over the past few years and now have my own routine that works for me. It involves walking, meditating and writing as the key parts to my listening practice. However, it’s only when I talk thing through with others and the words come out of my mouth to hear them that I often unlock the hidden key that’s been hiding away from my understanding.
Listening to yourself helps you make decisions more easily as you allow yourself to hear the answer you know to be true for you. In my experience what I’ve discovered is that somethings I thought were right for me are totally opposite to what I hear when I stop and listen to my inner wisdom.
Eating well is a good sign you’re listening
I love food. I also love the whole community conversation of a meal with family and friends. Eating and chatting together for me is a true simple pleasure.
Eating what’s good for you can be tricky though as our bodies are all made slightly differently. You may need more iron in your diet than me. I may need more Vitamin C than you to keep my body working as well as it can.
I’ve been a follower in my diet too as I’m sure you have at one time. My son’s are currently quite focused on a carnivore diet, whereas friends promote veganism. Only each person can decide what’s right for them. All I know is that your body will tell you if you’re eating well if you listen to it.
When I eat too much bread I get sluggish. I know that, but I’ll still have too much some days when it’s fresh and smelling gorgeous! 😉 You may need help finding things to help your body perform at it’s best. Recently I sought specialist help as I knew something was out of balance and I’ve discovered I’ve got lead poisoning! Apparently it’s not uncommon, so I’m starting to take a supplement to get rid of those toxins in my body and find more balance. It’s unlikely you’ll have exactly the same, so don’t follow me! 😉 Follow yourself.
If a food or drink helps you feel more alive or energetic use it. If a food or drink makes you sleepy stop having it. Sounds simple doesn’t it, but how many people do you know that don’t follow these simple rules of listening to their body?
Knowing yourself stops the struggle to make choices
Once you’ve a clearer knowledge of yourself it becomes much easier to make choices which are right for you. Whether it’s food, relationships, work decisions, career, business choices or what piece of music to play. You may find that you start listening to music you used to love as a teenager again that others maybe don’t like. That’s up to them isn’t it? You can choose to listen the music of your choice 🙂 You can choose what to eat and drink to make you feel good and look good.
You may be on a personal development or spiritual journey, in which case, I encourage you to stop and listen to yourself. Knowing yourself better makes it easier to make choices. They may not be easy choices though, but they’re likely to be the best for you.
No-one else can tell you what’s best for you about anything in your life. Only you know that. We can support you to make those choices, and live by them. That’s where your support team comes in. For today, let’s just start listening to ourselves better.
If you’d like help listening to yourself better and learning how to make choices for yourself, this new course will help you. Register here for being in our test group starting soon:
Do you struggle to make choices? How do you listen to yourself and make choices? Let me know by leaving a comment.