Is positive thinking all it’s cracked up to be?

Is positive thinking all it’s cracked up to be?

by | Guest Posts, Health & Fitness, Personal Development

Hi, I’m Honey Lansdowne, a Hypnotherapist and friend of Tracey-Jane and very pleased to be here as a guest blogger. This blog will ask is positive thinking all it’s cracked up to be?

Has someone ever said these things to you?

If you have ever told someone you feel depressed, you may have experienced  them telling you to ‘just’ need to think positively. And you will know the little difference that made!

People also tell people suffering from anxiety that they are ‘just’ being silly and nothing bad is going to happen and if you have ever felt angry you may have been told to ‘just’ calm down.

As much as I love positive thinking it’s taken a lot of work for me to become good at it and I am very mindful when I see clients that everyone’s starting point is different.

Noticing your feelings is important

Let’s think first though about the importance of noticing feelings. We need to notice feelings like we need to notice pain. Pain is a signal that something is up. It gives you the chance to address any issues and heal them. The same goes for emotions. It’s good to really feel your emotions and understand them.

Once you have noticed an emotion you then have a decision to make. Do you want to continue to experience this emotion or change it? The emotion will create a state for you. A state is how you feel at any given time and can change in seconds. Imagine feeling a bit down and then hearing one of you favourite songs and you start to sing along. That’s a state change.

Stick or twist

stick or twist

So once you are aware of your state, you can CHOOSE whether to stay in that state or to change it. By jumping straight to positive thinking you might miss an important step. The opportunity to assess a situation and learn from it. This is your chance to evaluate your behaviour or input in a situation that put you in a certain state. Rather than a chance to beat yourself up. Really be objective and learn.

When you view the situation objectively, you will also see more options available to you. Understanding yourself really is the key to self-development. You might not like everything you learn but all of it can help you. You might choose to think more positive thoughts, but that will be a conscious choice by you.

Facing your feelings, good and bad is very helpful. People often avoid situations that create feelings that make them uncomfortable or they are fearful of. Some examples being:

  • Speaking in public
  • Putting themselves forward
  • Losing weight
  • Social occasions
  • Approaching new relationships
  • Interviews
  • Exciting opportunities
  • Travel experiences

But avoiding situations often builds the fear in your mind. Your mind is very powerful and imaginative and will often imagine that the thing is much worse than it would have been if you had actually done it!

Download your free thought diary and measure where you are at

To assess if you are  a negative, neutral or positive thinker I would suggest keeping a thought diary and recognise the feelings that are being generated. I’ve made a thought diary which you can download free here. In a week you will have a record of the feelings you have experienced. You will be able to clearly see if you are more of a negative or positive thinker. Feelings might vary and include feeling:

  • Humiliated
  • Disappointed
  • Frustrated
  • Loved
  • Cheerful
  • Panicky
  • Happy
  • Hurt
  • Angry
  • Scared
  • Disgusted
  • Proud
  • Nervous
  • Insecure
  • Sad
  • Depressed
  • Anxious
  • Embarrassed
  • Excited
  • Guilty
  • Frightened
  • Ashamed
  • Lonely
  • Empty
  • Lost
  • Worried

And many more. It is said that we can experience up to 34,000 emotions!

Get your positive thinking cap on

think positiveSo being upbeat and positive is a lovely state to be in. But it doesn’t need to be forced and it can be very tiring for you if you try and make the jump from negative thinking to positive thinking. My advice would be, just like most things, small consistent actions to make a long lasting difference. Once you’ve used the thought diary to capture your thoughts, you will have a good idea of where you are starting from. Then you can use the ideas below to start your positive thinking journey.

I’ve broken down some ideas for different levels of where you might be starting from. Some ideas on how to do this are:

Your thoughts are mainly negative:

  • Make a gratitude list. A list of things you are grateful for. They can be small or large. Anything goes because it is your list! You can find out more on how to write one here
  • Say your thoughts out loud. There is something about speaking what you feel that makes it feel different.
  • Think about what you would say to someone you cared about that had these thoughts and say them to yourself.
  • Remind yourself that you have a choice about whether to experience a negative or a positive thought at any given time.

Your thoughts are mainly neutral:

  • Fake it until you make it. Put a smile on your face and find things that make you laugh. Experience the sensation of happiness. There is evidence that when you smile you feel happier.
  • Examine how much you think you are playing to your strengths in your life. Make a list of things you are good at. Are you doing any of these on a daily basis? When you do things you are good at you will feel more positive and rewarded.
  • Find a photo of yourself when you felt really happy. Think back to what you were doing that made you feel that way and try and replicate it.
  • Try exercising to generate some natural endorphins in your body.

Your thoughts are mainly positive:

  • Keep up the good work!
  • Share your positivity. Many positive people ‘give back’ to the world by supporting and encouraging others which in turn generates even more positivity for them!

Thank you for having me Tracey-Jane and thank you for reading this everyone, I hope you found it useful.

Sending you positive vibes.

Honey

Honey LansdowneI’m Honey Lansdowne, a Hypnotherapist based in West Sussex, UK. My intention as a therapist is to make you feel better from the very first session. I use Hypnotherapy, NLP, Reiki and tapping in a blended form of therapy so you get the best possible outcome. I can help you with depression, anxiety, stop smoking, weight loss, going sugar free and stress. So don’t let these things get in the way of you living the life you deserve!

I would love to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram or over on my blog.

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Planning for 2012

by | Goal setting, Guest Posts

Alice Langley is better known online as An Essex Wife, wife of Rob and Mother to Scarlett aged 2 and Orlaith aged 7 weeks.

I love my life as a housewife and mother.  However I’m a strong believer in keeping your own identify, and combining being a wife and mother with being my most fabulous self is something I strive to achieve everyday.  The main ethos of An Essex Wife is ‘Family life, done in style’ and 2012 is the year I out all of this into practice.

Planning for 2012 – The year of new beginnings!

2011 was, for me, the year of big events! I got married, had a new baby and started my blog (which in 6 short months has changed my life’s direction completely) so it was quite a whirlwind to say the least.

Now things have settled down a little I have had a chance to think about what my next move is, and how I am going to combine running a home, raising two children under 3 and changing my career direction completely in order for to be able to work from home while caring for my daughters.

In an ideal world, this year will see me carve out a portfolio career of freelance writing, running a parenting group with a modern twist and having a successful blog. I’m no fool, I know this is going to be hard work, and there is no guarantee that any of it will be a success, but I sure am going to enjoy trying.  I love a challenge, setting myself goals and working hard to achieve them, it keeps me busy and gives my daughters a positive example of how women can combine both being a mother and being a person in her own right.

To help with this I have set myself a list of things to achieve each month. Benchmarks throughout the year to measure myself against to ensure I am sticking to my plan and that my quest for world domination on nicely on track.  Small, manageable, specific goals, such as this weeks goal of finding a location for my parenting group, are much more likely to be achieved than one general overall goal, such as ‘having a successful blog’. Large, generic goals can seem so overwhelming and easy to give up on.  The same can be applied for the ‘New Year, New You’ health kick, if you say to yourself ‘this year I will lose two stone’, then as soon as after a month you have only lost a few pounds you become dishearten and give up. However if you if you set your self smaller goals such as ‘by Easter I will have lost half a stone’ then it helps to keep you motivated.

For me, by Easter, I plan to have held my first parenting event and have completed 2 freelance writing jobs, I’ll be sure to pop back and let you know how I get on.

We will be catching up with Alice later in the year to see how she is getting on….

 

Freelance and Fancy Free? It’s not that easy….

by | Goal setting, Guest Posts

Chelle McCann shares her year so far….her journey from working mum to freelancing around her family life. Chelle runs Social Media Mums a freelance social media and virtual assistant service where charges are tailored to parents running their own business. The service supports small business on a permanent or ad hoc basis without the pressure of a full time wage.

This year has been so my so called whirlwind year. After starting with a small idea and one lady willing to test my ideas out I am not about to jump properly into the world of self employment.

It’s a little bit scary but also very exciting at the same time. However I dont want you to think it is a really easy thing. I also want you to think about what you really really want and then encourage you to go for it.

This year I’ve gone from a small idea to making a full time salary from that idea. It’s meant that I’ve worked like a crazy woman for thsalary 12 months and not without some family neglect to get this business off the ground. It’s easy to think that you have found something completely flexible – for me Skype meetings have to be a set time, stats have to be done once a month. It’s been difficult working around a part time job and most importantly my family. In fact I’ll got so far to admit I am becoming that parent who says ‘just two minutes darling’.

So come 2012 I’ll be working on my business and be leaving my work place after 5 years. I’ll focus business work to be on the days when my husband is at work and my daughter is in nursery, I’ll set the nights for work and the non working night for hubby. He’s been more than patient with me this year and I now need to show him how important he is to me. I need to be less distracted around Fizz, I don’t want her to turn round and tell me just two minutes – she’s already sending her toy doll to the naughty corner and I really don’t want to be next.

2012 for me means bringing in a partner to the business. One I have worked with before and who is definitely the ying to my yang in all things brighton, social media and mummy. I already know this person grounds me especially in our joint passions. By having someone share this with me I am sure I will be better focussed on success.

Anyway I’ve rambled but then again that’s where I am at. It seems a good point for me to step back, look over my life and remember why I am doing all this in the first place.

It’s not as easy as I thought it would be, working for yourself is challenging for yourself and your family. It’s not the workload (especially if you have found something you enjoy) but the time management, working out your own tax and national insurance, buying equipment and then finding you need more as your business grows.

But there is that huge sense of achievement when things all fall into place, when you catch up with the to do list and when a client gives you fantastic feedback. It’s one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done. And I did it for me.

But I won’t forget that my family are the most important thing in the world. They are why I am here doing this, they are the ones supporting me. And I am extremely grateful for them.